you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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