He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
