i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
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