that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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