brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize