Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
