Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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