So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize