WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
