When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
