Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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