3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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