You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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