yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
