Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
