she smelled like a LAN party
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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