Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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