I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
This house was built for laser tag.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
