I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you win again, gameday.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
