The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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