All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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