Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
