Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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