ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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