so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
