maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
