I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
