just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
