I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
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