I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
