eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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