PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
