Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
