i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
