very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
