You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
