I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
