is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
