So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
