So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
