my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
