1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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