That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize