Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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