Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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