How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
