you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i was born a porn star she said
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
