...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
