Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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