Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
