ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
