apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize