I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
