I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
