I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
