Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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