Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
