Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
